no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize
