I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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