Taylor Swift is so right about you.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
