im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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