Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
