this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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