Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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