Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
