would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
