How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
