Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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