Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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