What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
