Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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