You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
