You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
