carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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