If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
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