I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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