why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
