Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize
