There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
