i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
