Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
