The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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