How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
