Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
