it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
