Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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