I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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