I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
