Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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