You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize