the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
