I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
