He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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