Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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