I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
