Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
