how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
