I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
