I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Randomize
