am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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