i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I will be naked everywhere
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
