D3 body, D1 cock
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
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