I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
this just has baby written all over it
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Randomize
