some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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