Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
can u get pink eye on your cock?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
