so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
