Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I want a musical about memes.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
