This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
