I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
