The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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