You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize