guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
