This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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