I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Im part way to drunk.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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