I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
