I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
