How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
