How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
