Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
I'm really busy with my period
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